Charity Janisse

I did not know at the time
but I had fallen in love.
The kind of love that makes you tremble
under your skin
from a place further within
than you realized existed inside of you
before then.

The kind of love that feels like the deepest breath
you could take in your life.
Like that first breath of air
after you dive
deep into the water
and swim further under
than you ever meant to go
and your air is running low
and you realize too late
that there is not enough breath left
for the return trip.
So you shoot for the surface of the water
you can barely see the sun
for a minute you think you’ll never arrive
you see images of your life
passing rapidly through your mind
and then suddenly
there you are –
You’ve emerged once again
into the world of oxygen.
You’re above the water
free of impending death
free of the cold dark pressure
that would have taken you under
and from this world forever.
And that is when you take the deepest breath
the fullest, strongest breath
that you have taken in your life.
Your chest expands
and your throat feels tight
as you nearly choke on the air
you are drinking in
so greedily
so hungry just to breathe and breathe
so intensely thrilled to be alive.

That’s what
this love feels like.

That first breath so strong
after nearly losing your life.
It stops me in my step some times
and takes me far away
from everything
that I can see in front of me,
and this love
it causes me
to shiver, shudder, quiver
from head to toe.
I lose all thought
and only know
that I am more alive
for that one sacred meeting
with the person
who would teach me
the depth of a new
perception of love

that would ultimately

change my life forever.

~Charity