Charity Janisse

but I still love this song…

I remember standing in the coffee shop
leaning against the sink
with the spinning brushes where we’d wash the glasses
listening to Leonard Cohen
and staring blankly into my dim reflection
on the stainless steel fridge
across from the counter.
I remember standing there
on a quiet saturday afternoon
wondering if I was anyone
worth mentioning
or being with
and if
anyone ever thought about me
when I left a room
and was there reason
for me to be
three thousand miles away
from my family…
19 years old
downtown
in a coffee shop
that Cincinnatti summer
I never felt more alone.
that was the year when I realized
that life did not need to make sense
it was enough just to be breathing
and that people
would always be leaving
no matter what I did or did not say.
I remember listening to the music
the sorrowful comfort
in those hopeless lost
love songs
I wanted to climb right into the sound
of that voice
cozy up
and never come out
never accept the way
I let myself
along with everyone else
so down.
it’s hard when you’re that damn young
without a clue
of what’s going on
just rolling restlessly with the
wretched times
and trying to land standing
life can be
so damn demanding
sill I…
I don’t know any better now
no I don’t know any better now.
and I get tired of failing sometimes…
but I still love this song.

Poem written September 16th 2006
Painting May 10th 2014
I actually wrote a different poem to go with this piece but can’t find it. I save a lot of poetry in my email so I typed in coffee & window and this poem came up. It’s written in 2006 about a memory from the 90’s. I wrote the poem after a loss during a divorce so clearly it’s sad but honestly really glad I found it.

IG has created a new feature where you can rearrange your grid which I’m happy about, because the reason I haven’t posted tons of my art & poetry is because I opened this account in 2017 & much of my work is from before that. I really like seeing my art & photos in chronological order. So tho I’d post older stuff sometimes I’d tend to delete as it just didn’t fit between new works. But now I can just move the works to their proper time-slot. I’m quite pleased 🙂